When the waves come I tell myself don’t run because the pain that comes with missing is so much gentler than the heartache of hiding from my own truth. In the end I can never outrun the storm
Yesterday I stood on a bridge over a gorge watching the powerful current flow into the river canyon, fueled with a life force so magnificent. I wanted to be part of it all; to move across the earth with that radiance and strength.
But I am only human Not built to move through all waterfalls with grace Or to rush down roaring rivers with elegance. Sometimes I become a flailing mess amidst life's movements and start to wonder who I really am.
My mind stuck in a twelve year old’s head when I last saw your face and said good bye to a future of growing up without you here, my friend.
When time froze of us a simple thread that unlike frost can never melt in the early morning light.
Death is final. Death is forever.
That frozen thread of time, too slippery for my grasp means I can never hug you again.
Brother, please I am drowning in pain so deep I did not know could exist.
It is so hard to keep swimming towards the surface when my heart knows that I will never see your smile again or hear the sound of your voice as we stand in the forest watching the birds.
But this is life as it has unfolded for me. As it is.
Thankfully, the opposites teach. Like the way the bitter cold of a winter’s day makes a crackling fire seem ever so much warmer.
Death has taught me that when the waves come don’t run because the pain that comes with missing is so much gentler than the guilt of hiding from my own truth.